And here's the answer! I asked how to find an HSA custodian who would allow me to invest my money however I wanted to, especially bond mutual funds or stock funds.
My new friend Steve Gorman of AlternativeInsurance.com came through with the answer.
HSA Trustee Services.com
I'm going to give them a try right away. We're shifting our HSA investments to my wife now, so we'll just open her HSA at this Website instead of State Farm, where our health insurance policy and my HSA are. Nothing against State Farm, they're great, but they don't offer any types of investment for HSA money other than a bland savings account.